


Two immortals stumble out of a bar...

by Poetry



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Drunkenness, Humor, Immortality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-06 17:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetry/pseuds/Poetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tell me if you've heard this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two immortals stumble out of a bar...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wendymr/WMR](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Wendymr%2FWMR).



> Written for [wmr](http://www.whofic.com/viewuser.php?uid=637) for the [Help Haiti](http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/) charity auction. Her prompt was: "Ten and Jack, conversation about death/dying."

It's funny what conversations the Doctor ends up having with Jack Harkness after ten shots of hypervodka.

"All right, Doc," says Jack, sprawled out across the jumpseat. "The Moxx of Balhoon, the Zu-Zana droid, and the Face of Boe. Marry, shag, or cliff."

The Doctor grimaces, sagging a little against the coral strut that's keeping him upright. "Who'd shag a Balhoonian? The glaxic acid…the _spitting_…" At the look on the Captain's face, he quickly adds, "Don't answer that."

"Are you gonna play or not?" Jack demands.

"I'd rather not, thanks," the Doctor sniffs. His posture along the strut makes the expression even less dignified than usual.

"Awww, you're no fun." Jack's frown is either comically exaggerated, or his facial muscles have gotten away from him again. "You come up with something, then."

The Doctor's features distort into his Thinking Face. "Fine then. What's the most embarrassing way you've died?"

"That's not fair," Jack protests. "I've died way more times than you. I have more embarrassing ones."

"Prove it." He watches Jack wriggle a little in the seat. "Are you blushing, Jack Harkness?"

"Well, ahh…" He squirms a little more. "Remember my compact laser deluxe?"

The Doctor groans into the coral. "How could I forget?"

Jack takes a deep breath. "Iforgottotakeitoutbeforesex."

"Noooo." The Doctor feels like his jaw might be halfway to the floor by now. "You didn't."

"Well, y'know, tends to kill the mood a bit when you have to pull a laser out of your arse just as the fun's getting started. It just slipped my mind." He makes a vague gesture with his hands. "Then…boom."

"You're worse than Ace, you are," the Doctor mutters.

"So what's yours?" Jack says. "It had better be good."

"Weeeelll, the sixth me died by hitting my head against the TARDIS console."

Jack swats the edge of the console with the back of his hand. "Bad girl. How could she let that happen?"

"Not her fault," the Doctor insists. "She was under attack." He stumbles forward a little to lean against the console instead of the strut. "The eighth me died when a Dalek sucked my face off with its plunger." He waves an arm about, trying to make a plunger-like gesture with his hand.

"What was your head doing next to a Dalek plunger?"

"Weeeelll…" He winces a little at the memory. "It's a long story."

"I think my story wins."

"That's because you think any story where you end up naked is a better story."

"Oh yeah. If this were a story, that's definitely how I'd want it to end." Jack grins slowly. "I did buy you a drink, after all."


End file.
